Wednesday, May 25, 2011

What Not To Wear

When I was living at my parents' house, we didn't have any TV, so I've never heard of this show before, and, frankly, I could have lived a thousand happy lifetimes without having seen it. But ever since I moved in with my grandparents, my pop culture knowledge has expanded significantly.
Now I kinda want to hide in a cave normal people are fucking NUTS.
Anyways, I'm bored as fuck, and I figure my grandparents probably don't want to hear me ranting about this, so, y'all are stuck with it. All six of you who read this.

So, WNTW starts out with this chick hanging out with her friends at an ice skating rink, when suddenly an extremely gay guy and this woman trying desperately to look sophisticated and friendly at the same time turn up and are like, LOL EVERYTHING YOU WEAR SUCKS SURPRISE!!!! And everyone cheers and says, YAAAAAAYY THROW OUT ALL HER CLOTHES AND MAKE HER FEEL LIKE CRAP! And then everyone smiles and laughs, because of COURSE this is what friendly people do, they're just trying to help!!!
Cue guilt trip and belittling.
"You have a six-year-old kid? Don't you ever spend time on yourself?"
"Shopping for trendy clothes is soooo much more important than your kid!'

-She just mentioned that when they're going out, her six-year-old (possibly five? it keeps changing) makes fun of her clothes and tells her to change. It's so cute when even your small children make fun of you! How precious!

-(Returning from a commercial break) "Her clothes range from boob-showing and hip-hugging to 'sloppy mom on the go'." ...She's wearing sweats. To go to the park. With her five/six-year-old. Who the hell dresses in couture for that??

-They're getting a "professional" to get her bra size...seriously, they have those? Weird...

-And now the gay guy and the "trying desperately" girl (I think they're the hosts?) are watching her through the mirror, commenting on her new bra. Hang on, five seconds ago, they were saying she was showing too much cleavage, now they're getting her bras to "give her more lift"? News flash for the flamboyant man, that makes them MORE visible.

-Annnd we're back to blaming her for spending too much time and energy on her kids and not enough buying clothes for herself.

-"Oh, honey, no, we LOVE your body, your body is fine!" To the cameras, later: "If she just took care of herself a little, you know, maybe in a couple years she'll look good". *facepalm*

-To make it even better, she just came out of the dressing room, and the first thing the Desperately Trying Woman said was "Ohhh, honey, this looks great, it gives you this cute tiny waist!" ...

Yeahhh...I'm gonna steal the remote when my grandma falls asleep again and watch NCIS.